Marriage is one of life's greatest adventures, but it can also be one of its biggest challenges. When two people come together in marriage, they're not just joining their lives—they're merging two complete kingdoms, each with their own rules, boundaries, and ways of doing things.
Why Is There Conflict in Marriage?
The main source of conflict in marriage stems from a simple reality: two kingdoms are now joined together. For years before marriage, you've been the ruler of your own castle. You had your policies, procedures, and territories that no one dared cross. Now suddenly, there's another ruler in your domain. This merger brings up the crucial question: who is going to rule this new, combined kingdom?
How Do You Cooperate with God in Your Marriage?
The key to experiencing God's work in your marriage is cooperation. This means working with what you have right now rather than working against it with negativity, criticism, or dissatisfaction.
God will never force you to love, forgive, or submit to one another. He gives you the power to choose. When you choose to love, forgive, and be kind and patient, then God can do His part. When you do what you can, God does what you cannot.
When we talk about partnering with God, we're describing a cooperative relationship where His power works through our willingness to participate. This isn't about God needing our help—He's perfectly capable on His own. Rather, He wants our partnership because it's through this cooperation that we experience transformation.
The same power that raised Jesus from the dead, that kept Daniel safe in the lion's den, and that protected the three Hebrew children in the fiery furnace—that same power is available to work in your marriage today. This isn't just any power; it's nuclear-level, life-changing power that can overcome any obstacle.
What Does Cooperation Look Like Practically?
Cooperating with God in your marriage means making a daily choice to partner with Him rather than trying to handle everything in your own strength. It might sound like:
"Lord, I don't know exactly how You're going to handle this situation with my spouse and me, but I'm going to partner with You today. I'm going to die to my flesh and serve them."
This cooperation requires humility—recognizing that we need God's help and wisdom. It means choosing to respond with love even when we don't feel like it, trusting that God's power is working in us.
When we allow God to work in our present marriage—both individually and as a couple—the Bible promises that our days can be "as heaven upon the earth" (Deuteronomy). This doesn't mean perfection, but it does mean experiencing God's peace, love, and blessing in our relationship.
Sometimes God needs to work something out of us before He can work something in us. Just as the Israelites were taken out of Egypt but still carried Egypt in their hearts, we might need to let God remove negative patterns, attitudes, or habits before He can build something new.
The most important thing isn't seeing your spouse change—it's you partnering with God. When we stand before God, we'll give an account for our own choices and cooperation with Him, not our spouse's responses.
How Can Dead Marriages Come Back to Life?
The story of Martha and Mary in John 11 provides powerful hope for struggling marriages. Both sisters lived in the pain of "if only"—if only Jesus had been there, their brother wouldn't have died. Many marriages are haunted by similar thoughts: "If only he hadn't done that," or "If only she hadn't said that."
But Jesus met Martha and Mary's "if only" moments with a powerful declaration: "I am the resurrection and the life." This isn't just about eternal life—it's about His power to bring dead things back to life right now, including marriages that seem beyond hope.
God isn't waiting for some future moment to work in your marriage. He's not stuck in your past mistakes. He is the great "I AM"—present tense, working right now in your current situation.
Life Application
This week, commit to being an active partner with God in your marriage. Instead of focusing on what your spouse needs to change, ask God what He wants to work out of you and what He wants to work into you.
Start each day with a simple prayer: "God, I want to partner with You today in my marriage. Show me how to love, serve, and respond in ways that honor You."
Ask yourself these questions:
Remember, God desires to work in your present marriage right now. He's not waiting for perfect circumstances or a perfect spouse. He wants to partner with you today to create something beautiful, one choice at a time.
Why Is There Conflict in Marriage?
The main source of conflict in marriage stems from a simple reality: two kingdoms are now joined together. For years before marriage, you've been the ruler of your own castle. You had your policies, procedures, and territories that no one dared cross. Now suddenly, there's another ruler in your domain. This merger brings up the crucial question: who is going to rule this new, combined kingdom?
How Do You Cooperate with God in Your Marriage?
The key to experiencing God's work in your marriage is cooperation. This means working with what you have right now rather than working against it with negativity, criticism, or dissatisfaction.
God will never force you to love, forgive, or submit to one another. He gives you the power to choose. When you choose to love, forgive, and be kind and patient, then God can do His part. When you do what you can, God does what you cannot.
When we talk about partnering with God, we're describing a cooperative relationship where His power works through our willingness to participate. This isn't about God needing our help—He's perfectly capable on His own. Rather, He wants our partnership because it's through this cooperation that we experience transformation.
The same power that raised Jesus from the dead, that kept Daniel safe in the lion's den, and that protected the three Hebrew children in the fiery furnace—that same power is available to work in your marriage today. This isn't just any power; it's nuclear-level, life-changing power that can overcome any obstacle.
What Does Cooperation Look Like Practically?
Cooperating with God in your marriage means making a daily choice to partner with Him rather than trying to handle everything in your own strength. It might sound like:
"Lord, I don't know exactly how You're going to handle this situation with my spouse and me, but I'm going to partner with You today. I'm going to die to my flesh and serve them."
This cooperation requires humility—recognizing that we need God's help and wisdom. It means choosing to respond with love even when we don't feel like it, trusting that God's power is working in us.
When we allow God to work in our present marriage—both individually and as a couple—the Bible promises that our days can be "as heaven upon the earth" (Deuteronomy). This doesn't mean perfection, but it does mean experiencing God's peace, love, and blessing in our relationship.
Sometimes God needs to work something out of us before He can work something in us. Just as the Israelites were taken out of Egypt but still carried Egypt in their hearts, we might need to let God remove negative patterns, attitudes, or habits before He can build something new.
The most important thing isn't seeing your spouse change—it's you partnering with God. When we stand before God, we'll give an account for our own choices and cooperation with Him, not our spouse's responses.
How Can Dead Marriages Come Back to Life?
The story of Martha and Mary in John 11 provides powerful hope for struggling marriages. Both sisters lived in the pain of "if only"—if only Jesus had been there, their brother wouldn't have died. Many marriages are haunted by similar thoughts: "If only he hadn't done that," or "If only she hadn't said that."
But Jesus met Martha and Mary's "if only" moments with a powerful declaration: "I am the resurrection and the life." This isn't just about eternal life—it's about His power to bring dead things back to life right now, including marriages that seem beyond hope.
God isn't waiting for some future moment to work in your marriage. He's not stuck in your past mistakes. He is the great "I AM"—present tense, working right now in your current situation.
Life Application
This week, commit to being an active partner with God in your marriage. Instead of focusing on what your spouse needs to change, ask God what He wants to work out of you and what He wants to work into you.
Start each day with a simple prayer: "God, I want to partner with You today in my marriage. Show me how to love, serve, and respond in ways that honor You."
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I trying to change my spouse in my own strength, or am I partnering with God?
- What attitudes or behaviors might God want to work out of me?
- How can I cooperate with God's desire to work patience, love, and kindness into my responses today?
- Am I remembering that I have a divine partner in my marriage, or am I acting like I'm handling everything alone?
Remember, God desires to work in your present marriage right now. He's not waiting for perfect circumstances or a perfect spouse. He wants to partner with you today to create something beautiful, one choice at a time.
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